If you believe the latest river of incomprehensible blah that has spewed forth from the mouth of Lady Gaga, “everyone is Special”, “everyone is beautiful” and “everyone is born this way”. I am sure it is easy to be weird and clever and gauche and wear dresses made of meat when you go home and count your money to pass a lazy Sunday afternoon but she does have a point. And I don’t mean one of the mysterious points that have recently appeared on her face.
Some people are red heads, some people are adopted, some people have same-sex parents and others have a sexy beauty mark over their lip like Marilyn. We are all born with something cute and interesting that makes us unique and that something will become intrinsic to our character as we age.
In my case, it is simple. I am born on April Fool’s Day.
It has to be said, as far as Birthdays go, the only one I can imagine being worse is Christmas Day. Not for the lack of presents, just because you would have to share your Birthday with Jesus. He has a habit of taking up all of the airtime at that time of year so it is kind of like being a twin with the most perfect person who ever lived (if you believe that of course) leading to a life of unfortunate comparisons. Although rather handy for miserly parents, “Jesus would have been happy with a new swimsuit instead of the Barbie car! He was born in a stable”.
Being born on the only day of the year that has the word Fool in the title leads to years and years of pain, largely at the hands of that cruellest of enemies, teenage boys. And a string of banal jokes from a father who never really came to terms with the fact that he was father, let alone father of a girl who spoke to much and was born on the day named after idiots, unlike his son who was born on the day of the lover…And so to the unfortunate comparisons.
Thus was the stigma that gave rise to the defence mechanism that became the loudest mouth on the largest continent that has stood the test of time for 35 hard worn and shouted years. I am born on the day of the fool and so I will wear that name with pride.
None can gurn with such enthusiasm causing the teacup sized eyes to thrust forward as captured in an unfortunate portrait photo at 17 that Motherbear still displays on a mantle piece for all to remark the fool with the unfortunate grin. None can laugh louder ensuring she takes the full brunt of a teacher’s punishment, talk so much she is reprimanded and forced to stand outside (only now by her employer rather than her French professor), run more like a spasmodic girl arms and legs akimbo, throw any ball like a gay adolescent boy or at the ripe old age of 35 still play with toys.
The fool got more Lego for her Birthday.
All aboard the Hogwarts Express for Hogwarts and the overcrowded table!
In my defence, I have now graduated from the really childish Harry Potter castles and trains to the much more adult and intellectual full-scale model of the Tower Bridge. A fool needs her foolish accessories. Let’s make them expensive childish ones that require you to take a trip to the seventh floor of Galleries Lafayette, where the kid’s clothes are….and the kids..who stare at the Lady going Gaga for a giant box of Lego. Toys that take two days to build and have more creamy stone coloured pieces than you have ever seen in your life. Two whole days you were perfectly relaxed and Zen and didn’t think about the W word once!
Maybe I could start prescribing Lego to Gaga?
Getting started with 2 of what became 22 Tupperware containers to help separate the pieces
The morning after - the Two Towers on route to becoming Mt Doom
Finished, but now in need of somewhere to eat...
Complete with mini Red Bus and Black Cab - impenetrable traffic jam not included