The world has gone mental.
In the same week we witnessed a horrific train crash in Spain, fatal protests in Egypt and Italians threw bananas at an elected minister, the entire world stopped (myself included) to learn the sex of Britain’s future monarch. Never before has a uterus been so tweeted or so hashtagged. Never before had a future heir to the throne of Britain been born with the entire world watching as he crowned (pun intended) and attended his first press conference, less than 24 hours after he was born.
But no one was that interested in the baby, a baby who will rule over a billion or so people. The big question was, what would Kate wear when she fronted the press? The arrival of her personal hairdresser sent the media pack insane with anticipation, which was still nothing, compared to the collective hysteria that swept across the world when we ogled the post-baby bump clad in cornflower polka dotted Jenny Packham. Within ten minutes, Jenny Packham’s website crashed (the dress isn’t for sale) and the British press toyed with the idea that Kate had chosen such a dress in honour of Diana, who wore polka dots when she showed William to the world. Polka Dots; the new political statement.
The woman had just expelled the future king of England from within her own body, but more importantly, where can we buy the dress?!
Welcome to the new world order. Women have taken back their rightful place in the shadows, or bent over their bed-heads in submission, misogyny is the new metro-sexual and very few people, least of all the next generation of XX chromosomes, seem to care.
In Texas a couple of weeks ago, abortion was effectively rendered illegal. That is correct, Texas, not a third world religious dictatorship, but Texas, the second most populated state in the US, home to a few million more than Australia, has decided that 52% of her people will be denied the right to choose. That this law was enacted by a bunch of middle-aged men makes the decision even more reprehensible. That abortion is the hot topic in Texan politics, when so many Texans have no job, no home and no food, is simply incredible. Because what the world needs right now is more unwanted babies, or worse still, more Texans.
But this is the country that gave us Teen Mom; a television show produced by MTV documenting the lives of teenage mothers. One of those sorts of reality shows made for the lowest common denominator that makes Jerry Springer look like Question Time. MTV could redirect their efforts to screen more music videos instead of glamorising teenage motherhood.
But then, when you watch the music videos the kids are pumping out these days, you understand why people would watch a show about a moronic teenager having a baby. The music videos are the new porn and in a world where the Kardashians can win Emmys, Teen Mom could win a Writer’s Guild Award.
In case you’ve been buried under a rock for the last month, Robin Thicke, formerly a rather credible R&B singer and until recently, most renowned for being the doppelganger-y offspring of one of the most famous TV dads of the eighties, released the title track from his new album Blurred Lines. Featuring a catchy beat and the fairytale falsetto of Pharrell, I was one of the thousands who purchased the song and began shaking my hips while squealing ‘you know you want it’.
Then I watched the video.
Then I read the lyrics.
Then I was horrified that a smart savvy woman like myself would have handed over even 99p for a song about a man sexually dominating a woman; at its core, a song about rape with an accompanying ‘music video’ featuring naked women wrapped in plastic. A woman, just like 500g of mince at Tesco, a commodity, something you beat and mould into the shape you want before you consume it. A woman.
At least Robin has never made a claim to be anything other than a purveyor of cheap pop. Step up Justin Timberlake, serious musician, serious actor and serious multi-squillionaire thanks to a serious career in ‘music’.
I’ve seen JT live. He is an exceptionally talented musician. He played no less than seven different instruments while his then girlfriend Cameron Diaz bopped away in the wings. He can sing, he can dance, he can act and apparently that is still not enough to effectively sell his popped up product.
To market his latest song, Tunnel Vision, JT decided to project images of his pretty face onto three naked women. These naked women do little more than writhe and pout at the viewer. In case you stumble upon the video and you are under eighteen, there is that famous warning word, ‘explicit’. Explicit is one way of describing it, facile is another. So narrow was JT’s tunnel vision, even his own wife, the formidable Jessica Biel is said to have described the video as tasteless.
Justin has buckets of taste when you compare him to another graduate of Disney’s TV academy…Miley Cyrus. I can’t even think how damaging it would be to grow up listening to your dad sing the world’s worst song, but does that make it OK to do this?
While many of you may be thinking, who gives a crap about a couple of music videos, think about the impact that modern ‘pop’ culture and easy access internet imagery is having on the rest of the world.
The body that governs the Australian Beauty Industry has recently implemented a self-imposed restriction of giving Brazilian waxes to girls under the age of sixteen. The proliferation of Internet erotica and celebrity sex tapes has resulted in every human girl in the western world being formatted to believe that pubic hair is abnormal. Because when you are sixteen and your pubic hair has barely seen the light of day, one must immediately remove it. Porn Industry 1 – Teenage Hormones 0.
At least a Brazilian won’t leave you permanently damaged. In America, where absolutely anything is possible, anal sex is the new sex. The good Christians and anti-abortionists of the southern states have made their girls believe that their hymen is their most precious gift. The Hymen outweighs the value of the brain, the heart and certainly the rectum. The hymen, whose only purpose is to prove to the world that a woman has been broken in, must remain intact or poor Marylou will die a sullied spinster. However, Marylou can have her rectum penetrated as often as she chooses without fear of hell, purgatory or even worse, spinsterhood. It is also a nifty way to avoid messy sheets when surfing the monthly red wave.
Periods…the modern luxury.
Whenever I am laid up on bed, my boobs feeling as big as twin humpback whales and my lower stomach ready to exit the building, I always remind myself of what a luxury this experience is. All 325 times I’ve survived my menses, I’ve found it akin to Cristal, a new Lotus Esprit or a fire-engine red Lady Dior. Most countries have some form of value added tax or VAT. In Australia, it is the GST, a goods and services tax applied to non-essential items. Non-essential items like tampons.
It is a good thing then that the good politicians of Australia have found it in themselves to keep condoms GST-free. We wouldn’t want the young boys of the land down under labouring under the impression that rooting anything that moves is anything more than their god-given right… and certainly not a luxury.
In 2013 the penetration of a warm hole with one’s penis is more than just a god-given right… it is a weapon. Armed with nothing more than your masculine sex organ, you can subjugate half of the population, regardless of age; you can also use it to spread your political point of view; you can rule the world.
A world where a woman is charged with her own rape. A world where men gather around a journalist, raping her repeatedly, while she does her job. A world where men imprison women for life, dominating them sexually, mentally and physically. A world where little girls are denied abortions after being raped by their fathers. A world where the positive role models for young girls are few and far between. A world my two infant nieces will inherit.
Time to stand up, shake my fists in the air, get angry and go mental!
…and no, it is not that luxurious time of the month.
You always have had the gift to get it down on paper - and if you were able to shout it to the world. Well written Marisa.
Posted by: Barbara Harper | 07/29/2013 at 11:59 AM
Great piece, you I know I love your thought provoking writing! I do disagree with your pro-abortion stand though. In the world today, most aborted fetuses are, you guessed it-female. Our current women are being raped and abused all while the future women are not even being given a chance to live...
The interesting thing about Kate's pregnancy was that from conception she was carrying a baby. The royal baby was never a foetus or an embryo, he was assigned the dignity of the status of a human being in utero. Was it because he had a purpose and an important role in life? Why a future king more than say a future teacher or a housewife or a lawyer or.....?
The abuse against women is an outrage, thanks for writing it all down and putting out there.xxx.
Posted by: Tash | 08/01/2013 at 08:19 AM